These fuckers rate pink lady a 90 but give granny smith a 57 and lemonade apples a 63? Lost their fucking minds; pink lady are just decent and are only saved by their price point. Can't even compete with modern hit-or-miss honeycrisp. No way in fuck are they the third-best apple variety.

Yeah, no shit lemonade apples don't taste like you're drinking lemonade. That's a problem for like the first one you eat if you're really susceptible to marketing, after which you can just enjoy them for what they are: a solidly above-average apple with a unique background lemony flavor that are fun to mix in with other apples.

The granny smith, meanwhile, is a fantastic pie apple and a great sour apple, and most of the review is spent whining endlessly about slightly thick flesh (literally good for you, arguably one of an apple's few advantages health-wise over other fruits).

If an apple makes it to the store shelf, it's a good apple. I eat whichever one is cheapest. At the moment where I shop, that's Gala. But, I also eat Red delicious and Granny Smith. I'm not paying two or three times as much for an apple that's different. Different isn't better, it's just different. Higher price doesn't mean better product, just better marketing, and maybe "new!", which is just different again.

The fact that rankings of food are so contested and almost no one agrees, is proof positive that I'm right, here. One isn't better than the other, just different. No one is wrong for liking what they like. Judging another's taste harshly, especially in food is silly and wrong. But, also in music, and clothing, and any other aesthetic appeal.

(I know I can't say "an apple is an apple and all apples are good" because of how apples are cultivated. But, if a variety has passed the taste test with growers to the point that they get produced in mass quantities, then it's a good apple.)

Best apple in current meta is the SweeTango but I'm never changing from my of Red Delicious main

applerankings.com/sweetango-apple-review/

Eating pigeon pie and squirrel isn't about the food. Especially squirrel, fuck those shit's. They did a few hundred in damages to my mango trees. Why am I upset? because the shit's would knock em off the tree, take a couple bites and leave them for me to clean up. I wouldn't care if they ate it all. They really are pests.

So maybe the apple pie, was the cherry on top of eating the squirrel. Not for the taste, but for the spite.

I love the apple rankings site but remain ever a Honeycrisp ho. I never liked apples until one day I was pregnant and hungry and at Target they had out samples of apple - out of desperation I grabbed one and holy crap, it was everything an apple should be, nothing like anything I'd had before, and I worked at a natural foods store, we got the pink lady and cripps and gala, it's not like I had not tried to like apples.

It will ever be the Honeycrisp, the platonic ideal. Perfectly sweet, perfectly tart, and can be cooked in pies and taste good. I don't need any other apple. My coworker prefers the Cosmic Crisp but I don't.

Oh yay, I get to address my two favorite common misconceptions about the colonial US at once.

There is an element of truth in the assertion that Ben Franklin owned slaves, but it's mostly untrue. He participated in what he was taught to do from an early age, but seeing the effects of slavery first hand changed his mind. He spent the rest of his life as one of that era's most outspoken critics against slavery, even purchasing a printing press to print anti-slavery brochures and pamphlets.

benjaminfranklinhouse.org/education/benjamin-franklin-and-slavery/

George Washington's wooden teeth are a myth. Wood teeth certainly existed, but were extremely uncommon and only used by people who had nothing else. Most commonly, dentures of that era were made from ivory, animal teeth, or cadaver teeth.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Washington%27s_teeth