Then the gift could be one such experience to surprise you with
That's the idea behind a good gift, it's knowing the other person sufficiently to be able to know what they really would like, that they won't get themselves/can't justify it
Money. Not gift cards, not 'you'll take me out for a fancy lunch', not 'I'll buy you something off your Amazon wishlist'. Money. Cold, physical currency.
Why? Parents and relatives are denser than a concrete bomb shelter. I don't want furniture, I don't want games, I don't want gift certificates. If I want something, I'll buy it myself. And for my 'splurge' list, you know what, sure mom. I want an XL David from Bad Dragon, in natural colors, and in a soft+medium firmness. And, because I want to feel like I am being spitroasted, a small Flint, in natural, and soft. I do need to work on my gag reflex. Oh, you'll just give me cash? Okay then. Don't open any package addressed to me, mmkay?
I tell people to get me liquor and candles. Honestly, I just want my friends to show up once a year so we can hang out for a few hours like the good old times.
Flusters folk a lot. I frankly don't care if you give me a broken padlock or a dingalong found in a forgotten pawnshop as long as it does tie into, well, me. Intention is what matters to me more than the item.
Yep. I ask for photos, letters, memories. A lot of them aren’t fans but I’ve got a couple loved ones who do special outings with me as gifts now at least.
It’s hard to get them to transition to that, for sure.
My answer is basically to stop letting a calendar date guilt trip you into wasting money on me because you've been marketed into some obligation so send me shit I don't need. If you happen to find something you think I'd actually appreciate, go for it, but even then it doesn't have to be for some stupid holiday.
I've kinda just stopped giving a shit about things like christmas or birthdays, both for me and for the people I'd consider giving a gift to, but I give them the same treatment: if I find something they'd like, I'll just buy and gift it as soon as it's convenient. And honestly the reactions are much better anyway, since it shows you're actually thinking of that person and not just fulfilling some annual ritual to send them shit cuz the commercials say it's time.
My parents buy things for me earlier then Christmas (intending them for christmas) spoil them for me because they're excited to tell me what they got or they think i can use it now, and then take it off me the day before just to wrap it up again 🤣
I suppose people who live in different towns to their parents avoid this, and hence the parents build up a stockpile, and if you only have time to visit one day of the year, they'll hand em all off to you then. Does that make it more acceptable? Because instead of waiting for a calendar day to buy the gifts at, they stowed the gifts away for until a big ceremony when family is visiting.
Might be how Christmas became a thing. Though I do believe the first gift giving was more like secret santa in scale, because nobody would receive more than 1 gift from someone else.
The thing I take issue with is the obligation we've been trained to feel when certain days come to buy something for everyone close to you.
If you're buying someone a gift because you see something you know they'll enjoy, then hoard it until some gathering like Christmas because that's an opportune time to give it, nothing about that rubs me wrong. If you buy someone a gift because it's Christmas then it's just a material ritual that lacks that personal connection that makes gifting meaningful.
And like, even I will send some bullshit to my nieces and nephews for birthdays and such, cuz they're like 6 and fucking love that shit - there's no deep personal connection or anything, but lil Timmy doesn't give a fuck: he had nothing from me a minute ago, and now he's losing his shit over some $5 squirt gun. It's fun for fun sake.
But like, when my mom calls me (and I'm pushing 40) asking what I want for Christmas... Mom, love ya, but stop worrying about that kind of shit. Let's go
... Mostrar más
Does that make it more acceptable?
The thing I take issue with is the obligation we've been trained to feel when certain days come to buy something for everyone close to you.
If you're buying someone a gift because you see something you know they'll enjoy, then hoard it until some gathering like Christmas because that's an opportune time to give it, nothing about that rubs me wrong. If you buy someone a gift because it's Christmas then it's just a material ritual that lacks that personal connection that makes gifting meaningful.
And like, even I will send some bullshit to my nieces and nephews for birthdays and such, cuz they're like 6 and fucking love that shit - there's no deep personal connection or anything, but lil Timmy doesn't give a fuck: he had nothing from me a minute ago, and now he's losing his shit over some $5 squirt gun. It's fun for fun sake.
But like, when my mom calls me (and I'm pushing 40) asking what I want for Christmas... Mom, love ya, but stop worrying about that kind of shit. Let's go out for some dinner or something so we can reminisce about how much of an asshole I was when I was lil Timmy's age.
Everything I want is expensive and I don't expect people to pay for it. Like if I were to buy something useful now, it'd be almost $1000 (fucking ram), and everything else is more expensive.
the problem is, the reason why i want something and dont already have it is because its expensive. and i dont expect someone to pay a 3-4 figure sum for my gift
I can afford things beyond the price levels I'd expect others to buy me gifts for. What I lack is the time to enjoy those things. Just yesterday I saw the giant Millenium Falcon lego in the store, and once again considered getting it, but then I realised it would take me years to build it, five minutes per week or so when I get a bit of alone time.
That's why I jokingly suggested a few years ago, that for Christmas I wished for peace and quiet, and ended up offending my wife (who probably wished for the same).
My birthday is coming soon, and my life is so intentionally devoid of pleasures (and so unintentionally devoid of free time) that I genuinely have no idea what to buy myself as a gift
Boomer Humor Doomergod
in reply to titty_wizard • • •I want to not wake up to an alarm.
I want to sip coffee on my porch while I watch woodland creatures.
I want to plow a field and drink barley water.
I want to tramp around a bog looking for wild edibles while my dog flushes game.
I want to wander in the woods after a snowfall, with the Milky Way above me and it’s so quiet I can hear the owls fly by.
I want the fireflies to be all the light I need.
I want an email to never find me.
That’s what I want for Christmas.
𝕲𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍🔻𝕯𝖃 (he/him)
in reply to Boomer Humor Doomergod • • •pigup
in reply to Boomer Humor Doomergod • • •felixwhynot
in reply to Boomer Humor Doomergod • • •Boomer Humor Doomergod
in reply to felixwhynot • • •Klear
in reply to Boomer Humor Doomergod • • •[deleted]
in reply to Klear • • •burido
in reply to [deleted] • • •Lemmy Shitpost reshared this.
EonNShadow
in reply to [deleted] • • •blibla
in reply to Boomer Humor Doomergod • • •darkdemize
in reply to titty_wizard • • •expatriado
in reply to darkdemize • • •arrow74
in reply to expatriado • • •SkyeStarfall
in reply to arrow74 • • •Then the gift could be one such experience to surprise you with
That's the idea behind a good gift, it's knowing the other person sufficiently to be able to know what they really would like, that they won't get themselves/can't justify it
Midnight Wolf
in reply to titty_wizard • • •Money. Not gift cards, not 'you'll take me out for a fancy lunch', not 'I'll buy you something off your Amazon wishlist'. Money. Cold, physical currency.
Why? Parents and relatives are denser than a concrete bomb shelter. I don't want furniture, I don't want games, I don't want gift certificates. If I want something, I'll buy it myself. And for my 'splurge' list, you know what, sure mom. I want an XL David from Bad Dragon, in natural colors, and in a soft+medium firmness. And, because I want to feel like I am being spitroasted, a small Flint, in natural, and soft. I do need to work on my gag reflex. Oh, you'll just give me cash? Okay then. Don't open any package addressed to me, mmkay?
arrow74
in reply to Midnight Wolf • • •daannii
in reply to titty_wizard • • •Everything inexpensive, I already have. Everything else is too much to ask for.
Like pay off my medical bills/student loans.
Buy a house.
Get dental work.
8tb SSD.
These things are way too expensive to ask anyone for.
𝕲𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍🔻𝕯𝖃 (he/him)
in reply to titty_wizard • • •Demdaru
in reply to titty_wizard • • •"Something not expensive from the heart".
Flusters folk a lot. I frankly don't care if you give me a broken padlock or a dingalong found in a forgotten pawnshop as long as it does tie into, well, me. Intention is what matters to me more than the item.
Broadfern
in reply to Demdaru • • •Yep. I ask for photos, letters, memories. A lot of them aren’t fans but I’ve got a couple loved ones who do special outings with me as gifts now at least.
It’s hard to get them to transition to that, for sure.
tidderuuf
in reply to titty_wizard • • •_stranger_
in reply to tidderuuf • • •Lemmy Shitpost reshared this.
Townlately
in reply to titty_wizard • • •felixwhynot
in reply to Townlately • • •felixwhynot
in reply to titty_wizard • • •Kitchel
in reply to felixwhynot • • •FinjaminPoach
in reply to titty_wizard • • •Lemmy Shitpost reshared this.
Murse
in reply to titty_wizard • • •My answer is basically to stop letting a calendar date guilt trip you into wasting money on me because you've been marketed into some obligation so send me shit I don't need. If you happen to find something you think I'd actually appreciate, go for it, but even then it doesn't have to be for some stupid holiday.
I've kinda just stopped giving a shit about things like christmas or birthdays, both for me and for the people I'd consider giving a gift to, but I give them the same treatment: if I find something they'd like, I'll just buy and gift it as soon as it's convenient. And honestly the reactions are much better anyway, since it shows you're actually thinking of that person and not just fulfilling some annual ritual to send them shit cuz the commercials say it's time.
FinjaminPoach
in reply to Murse • • •My parents buy things for me earlier then Christmas (intending them for christmas) spoil them for me because they're excited to tell me what they got or they think i can use it now, and then take it off me the day before just to wrap it up again 🤣
I suppose people who live in different towns to their parents avoid this, and hence the parents build up a stockpile, and if you only have time to visit one day of the year, they'll hand em all off to you then. Does that make it more acceptable? Because instead of waiting for a calendar day to buy the gifts at, they stowed the gifts away for until a big ceremony when family is visiting.
Might be how Christmas became a thing. Though I do believe the first gift giving was more like secret santa in scale, because nobody would receive more than 1 gift from someone else.
Lemmy Shitpost reshared this.
Murse
in reply to FinjaminPoach • • •The thing I take issue with is the obligation we've been trained to feel when certain days come to buy something for everyone close to you.
If you're buying someone a gift because you see something you know they'll enjoy, then hoard it until some gathering like Christmas because that's an opportune time to give it, nothing about that rubs me wrong. If you buy someone a gift because it's Christmas then it's just a material ritual that lacks that personal connection that makes gifting meaningful.
And like, even I will send some bullshit to my nieces and nephews for birthdays and such, cuz they're like 6 and fucking love that shit - there's no deep personal connection or anything, but lil Timmy doesn't give a fuck: he had nothing from me a minute ago, and now he's losing his shit over some $5 squirt gun. It's fun for fun sake.
But like, when my mom calls me (and I'm pushing 40) asking what I want for Christmas... Mom, love ya, but stop worrying about that kind of shit. Let's go
... Mostrar másThe thing I take issue with is the obligation we've been trained to feel when certain days come to buy something for everyone close to you.
If you're buying someone a gift because you see something you know they'll enjoy, then hoard it until some gathering like Christmas because that's an opportune time to give it, nothing about that rubs me wrong. If you buy someone a gift because it's Christmas then it's just a material ritual that lacks that personal connection that makes gifting meaningful.
And like, even I will send some bullshit to my nieces and nephews for birthdays and such, cuz they're like 6 and fucking love that shit - there's no deep personal connection or anything, but lil Timmy doesn't give a fuck: he had nothing from me a minute ago, and now he's losing his shit over some $5 squirt gun. It's fun for fun sake.
But like, when my mom calls me (and I'm pushing 40) asking what I want for Christmas... Mom, love ya, but stop worrying about that kind of shit. Let's go out for some dinner or something so we can reminisce about how much of an asshole I was when I was lil Timmy's age.
Druid
in reply to Murse • • •RisingSwell
in reply to titty_wizard • • •Everything I want is expensive and I don't expect people to pay for it. Like if I were to buy something useful now, it'd be almost $1000 (fucking ram), and everything else is more expensive.
So I just say I want nothing.
Tikiporch
in reply to RisingSwell • • •Lemmy Shitpost reshared this.
☭SaltyIcetea☭
in reply to titty_wizard • • •Lemmy Shitpost reshared this.
Bruncvik
in reply to ☭SaltyIcetea☭ • • •I can afford things beyond the price levels I'd expect others to buy me gifts for. What I lack is the time to enjoy those things. Just yesterday I saw the giant Millenium Falcon lego in the store, and once again considered getting it, but then I realised it would take me years to build it, five minutes per week or so when I get a bit of alone time.
That's why I jokingly suggested a few years ago, that for Christmas I wished for peace and quiet, and ended up offending my wife (who probably wished for the same).
Lemmy Shitpost reshared this.
yermaw
in reply to ☭SaltyIcetea☭ • • •Thats exactly it. The only things I want are crazy expensive. I've got more than everything else that I want/need.
But when I say to my wife "seriously I'm happy with a box of chocolates" thats not good enough.
Carlos Solís
in reply to titty_wizard • •OwOarchist
in reply to titty_wizard • • •Sundray
in reply to OwOarchist • • •OwOarchist
in reply to Sundray • • •UltraGiGaGigantic
in reply to titty_wizard • • •